


And Yes, We've Just Begun

by amelespotamos



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M, but then i got inspired to write more, probably, the first part is kinda bittersweet, the second part is sweeter, this was originally a one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 14:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5378393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amelespotamos/pseuds/amelespotamos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myungsoo has an important announcement to make. On his birthday of all days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"So what do you know about this girl Myungsoo's dating?"  


Sungyeol nearly chokes on the inhuman amount of chips in his mouth when he hears Mrs. Kim's question. He alternates between coughing and swallowing until his mouth is clear. With her back to him Myungsoo's mother doesn't even notice his near-death experience. Most of her attention is on the stove and the week's worth of food she's cooking for her eldest son's birthday.  


"There's a girl?" He wheezes out when he can finally breathe properly again. As Myungsoo's boyfriend it figures that he should know about the existence of some girl. Myungsoo isn't out to his parents, but he also isn't lying to them about dating anyone. At least as far as Sungyeol knows.  


Mrs. Kim looks back at him in surprise. "Is he not telling you either? He only told me he was seeing someone. I was hoping you would know what she looks like or how long they've been together."  


"O-oh, right. _That_ girl...that Myungsoo's dating." Sungyeol doesn't understand why Myungsoo would choose now to start lying to his parents, but there must be a good reason for it. So he'll play along. "Yeah, I've met her."  


"Really?" Mrs. Kim forgets her cooking as she quickly joins Sungyeol at the kitchen table. Thankfully, the stove isn't on anymore. "How was she? What did she look like?"  


Sungyeol feels a pang of guilt as he looks at the excitement lighting up the woman's eyes. He shouldn't be lying to her. Telling her about someone who doesn't exist. Or rather, someone she wouldn't accept if she knew the truth. But if they say ignorance is bliss, Mrs. Kim is especially blissful in her ignorance. He would hate to ruin it.  


"She's...tall."  


"Is she taller than him?" At his nod she follows up with, "Even in heels?"  


Sungyeol laughs as a memory pops into his head. "Definitely," he answers as he pushes the memory away. It's not one he should be sharing with his boyfriend's mother. If the shock of having a gay son doesn't kill her, the story of her gay son's boyfriend's one and only experience with a pair of pumps most definitely will. He'll just let her think he's amused by the fact that Myungsoo is shorter than his significant other. (And he actually does find it funny that he's taller.)  


"How are they together? Do they get along? I bet they have a lot in common."  


"They don't have that much in common, actually." He thinks about how different he and Myungsoo are. Their personalities are contrasting, but still compatible. In the beginning they had some trouble getting along, but with getting to know each other came understanding. As they found more and more things to like about each other they learned to accept the other's odd habits and differing opinions. "But they get along really well. And they suit each other. I think that makes up for it."  


Mrs. Kim smiles to herself, happy to know her son has found someone who matches him. "They must be perfect for each other."  


Sungyeol nods his agreement. He and Myungsoo are perfect for each other. If only he could tell her this outright. He decides to steer the conversation to a lighter topic. "Aren't you going to ask if she's pretty?"  


Mrs. Kim waves away the question. "No, I don't have to worry about that." She leans in to whisper conspiratorially. "I know Myungsoo has good taste."  


"I have good taste in what," Myungsoo asks as he walks into the room. "Are you two gossiping about me?"  


His mother easily laughs off his suspicions. "It's nothing for you to worry about." She gets up and heads back over to the stove. Myungsoo trails behind her so he can rest his head on hers as he backhugs her. Sungyeol finds the scene unbearably cute. He would make fun of his boyfriend for it if he wasn't such a momma's boy himself.  


"I get it," Myungsoo says. "It's girl talk."  


Mrs. Kim laughs at the joke, but misses Sungyeol baring his teeth at her son. Myungsoo sticks his tongue out at him knowing the other can't do anything about it while he's clinging to his mother. When he sees Sungyeol get up from the table and walk towards them, he subtly moves so that his mother is standing between him and his boyfriend. The precaution turns out to be unnecessary because Sungyeol's attention is only on Mrs. Kim.  


"Are we eating any time soon?" His arms overlap Myungsoo's as he hugs her from the other side. His tone is the whiny one he sometimes uses with Myungsoo when he feels too lazy to do something himself. It always works on him.  


Myungsoo scoffs at Sungyeol. "Can you believe this guy," he asks his mother. "He only came because he heard there would be food. He doesn't even care that it's his friend's birthday."  


"What about you?" Sungyeol throws back. "Inviting someone over and then starving them. Is that any way to treat a guest?"  


Mrs. Kim laughs at the bickering boys. "What did I do to deserve two handsome young men holding onto me like this," she asks herself. The two men in question are too busy insulting each other's manners to hear. "If you two are done acting like children, you should know that we'll start eating when the cake gets here."  


That shuts them up immediately. Myungsoo perks up, remembering why he came to the kitchen in the first place. "Oh, yeah, Dad was picking it up, right? He came back, like, twenty minutes ago with it."  


Sungyeol stares at him incredulously while his mother shrugs the boys off so she can pick up a serving dish. "Good," she says as she hands the dish to a still dumbfounded Sungyeol. "Then you two can make yourselves useful and start putting the food on the table."  


"But it's my birthday," Myungsoo protests. "Why do I have to do the work?"  


His mother hands him two large platters despite his complaints. "Well, I have news for you," she starts sweetly. She cups his face with both hands. "You may look like a prince, but that doesn't mean I'm going to treat you like one." She gives his cheeks a light pat before shooing him out of the kitchen.  


He grumbles while he and Sungyeol set up the dining room table until Sungyeol manages to sneak a small kiss and tells him there's more where that came from if he stops acting like a big baby. That proves to be all the motivation Myungsoo needs because he finishes the task without another word and his mother is left wondering how her son went from griping to sincerely helping so suddenly.

  


***

  


There's a lull in the conversation and the sound of silverware occasionally hitting a plate fills the room.  


"So, Myungsoo," Mrs. Kim starts. She places her utensils next to her plate and folds her hands before resting them on the edge of the table. Sungyeol can already tell what's coming. It was only a matter of time. "Sungyeol was telling me about your girlfriend."  


Myungsoo chokes on the sip of water he had taken as his mother spoke. Sungyeol gives him a few pats on the back that don't actually do anything. Myungsoo takes a couple minutes to clear his airway and try to breathe normally. His parents look on with raised eyebrows while his brother tries to hide his amusement behind his water glass.  


Moonsoo had found out about Myungsoo and Sungyeol's relationship when he had walked in on them being inappropriate in Myungsoo's old bedroom some months ago when they had come for a visit. After the initial shock wore off, he had assured the two that he was okay with it and wouldn't tell their parents. Just as long as he doesn't walk in on them doing anything more than holding hands because he really doesn't need those mentally scarring images. And, of course, just because he accepts his brother for who he is and who he loves doesn't mean he won't exploit this bombshell of a secret so Myungsoo will buy him stuff and let him get away with certain things.  


"What did he say," Myungsoo asks when he's able to speak. He takes a glance at his boyfriend, nervous about what he might hear.  


Sungyeol sits with a fork in his hand and his appetite completely gone. He had been expecting this subject to come up (because it's Mrs. Kim's favorite subject and she never misses a chance to bring it up), but he hadn't expected it to be so hard to laugh off. He thought he would be able to continue pretending this faceless girl exists. But now that they're talking about it, he just feels a weird sense of dread.  


"Don't worry. He only said nice things."  


That's not as reassuring to Myungsoo as his mother thinks it is. "Like what," he presses further.  


"Just that she's tall—" Moonsoo lets out a snort that he tries to pass off as a cough. "And you really like each other and she's very pretty." She amends the last part when Sungyeol starts to protest. "Okay, you didn't exactly say that, but I know that's what you meant."  


Mr. Kim chooses now to join in the conversation. But his input only makes things worse in Sungyeol's opinion. "Are we going to meet this girlfriend of yours anytime soon?"  


The whole table looks to Myungsoo expectantly, but he has trouble meeting anyone's eyes. He bites down on his lower lip as he mulls over his answer. Sungyeol is expecting a no or something to stall for time so they can figure out a way to make Myungsoo's fake girlfriend disappear without revealing his very real boyfriend. He's not expecting the deep breath Myungsoo takes. Or the words that follow.  


"Yes, you can meet her."  


Moonsoo is the one to choke this time around. Mrs. Kim raises an eyebrow, wondering why all of the men around her seem to have forgotten how to chew their food. "Are you sure about that," he asks his brother when he's able to breathe again, oblivious to the questioning stares of their parents.  


"Why wouldn't he be?" Mrs. Kim looks from one son to the other, but in her excitement at the prospect of meeting the special person in Myungsoo's life she misses the significant look shared between the two of them. "So when can we meet her?"  


Sungyeol feels his stomach churn at the big smile on the woman's face. Guilt and dread swirling together and making him slightly nauseous. He looks over at Myungsoo next to him, staring down at his half-eaten food and biting his lip almost hard enough to break the skin. He can't tell what's going through his head at the moment, but it doesn't stop him from trying. He's finally starting to realize what Myungsoo is trying to do and he wishes he could give him some show of support. Holding his hand, an arm around his shoulder, something to let him know Sungyeol understands what he's going through. That he's here for him.  


Myungsoo's voice is barely audible despite the silence at the table as everyone waits for his answer. "Today. You can meet her today. Well, now, actually."  


"Now," his mother asks in confusion.  


"Isn't that too sudden," his father quickly follows up.  


When Myungsoo finally looks up at his parents Sungyeol can see the determination in his eyes. He's ready to be honest. While Sungyeol is happy that his boyfriend doesn't want to hide who he is or what they are to each other anymore, he's not completely sure he's quite ready. He knows Myungsoo's parents probably won't be thrilled; he's not expecting anything else, really. It was surprising enough when his own family supported him when he told them, but he knows that's not the case for everyone. The reaction is rarely as positive. But he wishes it could be for Myungsoo even though he knows there isn't a very high chance of that happening.  


"Actually, I told you I was seeing someone," Myungsoo starts. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, but as nervous as he is, he maintains eye contact with his parents. His eyes shift back and forth between the two of them. "But I never said that it was a girl."  


"What are you talking about?" Sungyeol can hear the suspicion in her voice. See the wheels turning in her head as what Myungsoo's saying sinks in. Mr. Lee is silent next to her. His eyes are steady on his eldest son, his face unreadable.  


"I am seeing someone, but it's not who you think it is."  


"Who is it then?" A heavy feeling settles in Sungyeol's gut at the cold edge to her words. There's only one way this conversation is going to end.  


Myungsoo's hands clench into fists where they've been resting in his lap. On instinct, Sungyeol places a hand on his balled up ones. Myungsoo licks his lips before answering. "Sungyeol."

  


***

  


Sungyeol enters the apartment after Myungsoo and shuts the door behind them. He stands at the entrance, watching as his boyfriend drops himself onto the couch. He's staring ahead, but probably not seeing anything and his face is blank. Sungyeol wants to do something for him, comfort him in some way, but he's afraid he'll only be pushed away. That Myungsoo will blame him or their relationship for the fact that his mother practically disowned him on his birthday. He knows Myungsoo loves him, loves being with him, but he also knows how much he loves his family. His mother, especially. Sungyeol wants to reassure him that even though it hurts a lot right now, it'll get better eventually. Mrs. Kim might come to accept him (and them) one day. And if not at least they'll have each other.  


"Aren't you coming in?"  


Even Myungsoo's voice is blank. Sungyeol is pulled from his thoughts by the question and he hesitantly steps into the living room. The fact that his boyfriend is talking to him must mean that he isn't mad at him, but Sungyeol still isn't sure if he should give him space. He lingers within arm's reach of Myungsoo, waiting to see if he's needed.  


His hesitance proves to be unnecessary as Myungsoo immediately pulls Sungyeol down next to him. With arms tight around his torso and face pressed against his throat, Myungsoo pushes the two of them back into the cushions. He sighs deeply into his boyfriend's skin, the sound shaking slightly at the end. He hasn't cried yet. He hadn't cried when his mother burst into tears and screamed at him to get out. Or when they had gotten back into the car and his lips had trembled and he blinked furiously before tamping down the urge to just breakdown. Sungyeol knows it'll happen sooner or later. It's inevitable. And it'll break his heart to see it. But he'll be there for Myungsoo if he wants him to be and for as long as he needs.  


Sungyeol rubs circles on his boyfriend's back and feels his body slowly start to relax. He should've known this would be the best way to comfort Myungsoo: a warm body to hold onto. He presses a soft kiss to the top of the other's head before reaching his free hand up to stroke his hair. Myungsoo sighs again, this time it comes out content.  


"Two out of three isn't bad, though," Sungyeol says quietly. He wonders if it's too soon to bring it up. If Myungsoo just wants to push the incident as far back in his mind as possible and deal with it some other time. Myungsoo picks his head up to give him a puzzled look. "At least your father and your brother are on your side," he explains.  


His boyfriend looks at him a little longer before he nods. The hint of a smile passes across his face. "It's better than nothing," he replies. He rests his head on Sungyeol's chest and they fall into silence again.  


They spend close to an hour on the couch with Myungsoo laying on Sungyeol and neither of them speaking. Even though one of his legs falls asleep and his butt starts to get numb, Sungyeol holds himself still in his boyfriend's embrace. Myungsoo might not blame him, but he still feels rather guilty. Them being together has cost Myungsoo his mother, maybe for the rest of his life. This is the least he can do.  


When Myungsoo finally gets up he goes to take a shower and get ready for bed. Sungyeol stands at the bathroom door with his ear pressed to the wood listening for the sound of crying. The water is much too loud, but Sungyeol is sure he heard a sniffle or two at one point. Myungsoo steps out of the bathroom still a little damp, but with some color to his face as well as some emotion. The blank look is gone and even though he doesn't seem happy, Sungyeol's relieved to at least see something.  


Sungyeol is waiting for him on their bed, already changed into pajamas. He pulls Myungsoo gently onto the mattress and drapes the covers over the both of them. Myungsoo wastes no time tangling their legs together, letting his always-hot feet warm up Sungyeol's always-cold ones. Sungyeol picks back up stroking his boyfriend's hair. His fingers comb through the almost-dry strands as they push the hair off of his forehead. Sungyeol leans forward to place a kiss on the exposed skin. When he moves away he finds Myungsoo looking at him, his eyes alight with adoration. That's one of the things Sungyeol loves about Myungsoo: how he can look at him like he's the whole world. It makes him feel special and important. And he can see everything that Myungsoo thinks and feels about him, every single word, written all over his face. But Sungyeol doesn't think he's worthy of that look right now.  


Almost as if he's reading his mind Myungsoo says, "I'm not mad at you." He reaches a hand up to cup Sungyeol's cheek. "It's not your fault. My mom might not accept me, but that doesn't mean I regret being with you. I love you so much and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else."  


"But—" Myungsoo cuts him off with a kiss, deep and passionate and sincere. It speaks even louder than any words can.  


Myungsoo holds his gaze when they part, his eyes still full of love. He smiles softly. "It sucks, but it's not your fault."  


"I'm sorry," Sungyeol whispers. He believes Myungsoo's words, but he can't help still feeling bad about everything. And helpless to fix it.  


Myungsoo's smile grows just a bit more. "It's okay." Sungyeol wonders when the tables turned so that he's now the one being comforted. "At least it will be," Myungsoo amends. "Because I have you. And I love you." He kisses Sungyeol again, this time slowly and tenderly.  


"I love you, too," Sungyeol replies, a warm feeling filling his chest. He kisses his boyfriend one more time, short but still just as meaningful, before reaching out to turn off the bedside lamp.  


In the dark, they lay close in each other's arms. Myungsoo has his head on Sungyeol's chest, his ear right over the other's heart. It's familiar and Sungyeol feels the tension he's been carrying around for the last few hours finally ebb. He thinks about what Myungsoo had said. It seems hard to be sure, but he's right: things will be okay.


	2. Rainy Days & Mondays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from a completely different Carpenters song, but let's ignore that.  
> I just realized this is actually longer than the first part. Like with everything I write, there's a 50-60% chance I might decide to write more to this.

"What’s with all the food?" Sungjong asks, hopping onto the kitchen counter and helping himself to the chocolate chip cookies Sungyeol had baked the day before. Myungsoo is sure Sungjong only comes over to eat all of their food and hog the TV.  


Myungsoo is in the midst of putting away the food his brother had brought over. According to Moonsoo, their mother had just happened to make a little too much and off-handedly suggested they send the extra servings over to Myungsoo. It seems like Mrs. Lee is finally ready to allow Myungsoo back into her life. Myungsoo doesn't want to gets his hopes up too high, but after sharing the news with Sungyeol through a text (his boyfriend had been thrilled enough for the both of them), his heart feels a little bit lighter. It's only been a couple months since he came out to his family. Although the wound still feels fresh some days, Myungsoo has slowly come to accept that his mother doesn't want anything to do with him as long as he's with Sungyeol (and interested men, really). The fact that his mother went through the trouble of making food for him—no matter how she spins it—is definitely a step in a better, happier direction.  


He turns his head to look at the younger boy. "My mom sent it over."  


"You two are okay now?"  


Myungsoo stuffs the last container into the fridge with some difficulty and then turns around to face Sungjong. He doesn’t bother wondering how Sungjong knew about the situation with his mother; as Sungyeol’s best friend Sungyeol shares everything with him. Even the things he doesn’t want to share with Myungsoo. "Not really," he answers slowly. He and Sungjong, on the other hand, don’t usually (or ever) have deep or personal conversations. Mostly because neither of them is very interested in knowing too much about the other. They both have Sungyeol in common and that’s pretty much where their similarities end. Despite Sungyeol’s best efforts, the two of them haven’t managed to get past the point of forced politeness. While Myungsoo doesn't necessarily dislike the younger boy, he finds that Sungjong can be too much of a smart-ass sometimes. And Sungjong has made it clear that he thinks Myungsoo is dullest person he’s ever met and he doesn’t see what Sungyeol finds attractive about him.  


There might be something close to concerned on Sungjong’s face. "So you haven’t talked to her since you told her about you and Sungyeol?"  


Myungsoo shakes his head. This is not a conversation he would have expected to have with Sungjong when he’d opened the door for him. It feels awkward, but not exactly forced. That doesn’t mean he’s going to start confiding in Sungjong now, though.  


"I think you should," Sungjong states plainly. "If you reach out to her first, she might be willing to patch things up." There’s a moment of silence where Myungsoo only stares at him. "What, am I not allowed to give you advice?" Sungjong scoffs, leveling a glare at Myungsoo. "I might not know what you’re going through, but I can still sympathize."  


Myungsoo throws up his hands in surrender. "I didn’t say anything."  


Still miffed, Sungjong slides off the counter and takes two more cookies before stalking out of the kitchen. "Do whatever you want," Sungjong throws over his shoulder at Myungsoo, who’s quietly following him into the next room. In the living room, Sungjong stretches out across the couch (not like Myungsoo was going to sit next to him anyway) and turns on the TV.  


Myungsoo watches him from the doorway. In all the time they have known each other, he’s rarely felt any remotely positive feelings towards Sungjong. The latter has a knack for getting on his nerves without much effort (just his presence usually does the trick). The only times Myungsoo has felt happy around Sungjong are when he’s proven the younger man wrong or he’s delivered a particularly strong comeback that leaves Sungjong speechless. What Myungsoo feels now is similar to that, but weird given the context of their relationship. Of course, he doesn’t expect them to be friends now or even like each other. He just appreciates the gesture. "I'm gonna go take a nap," he informs Sungjong, though he knows the other won’t care. "Don't get any crumbs on the couch."  


All he gets is a thumbs up in response.

  


•••

  


Sungyeol shrugs off his coat and drapes it over the back of the couch on his way to the kitchen. He massages his temples in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain in his head. He'd felt a headache coming on as he was leaving work. Now it's just starting to get worse.  


He decides his best bet for relief is a nice cup of tea. That and he'd promised Myungsoo he would cut back on his coffee drinking. He fills the kettle with some water and puts it on the stove to boil. While he waits, he goes to see what Myungsoo is up to. He finds the other asleep on their bed, curled up on his side. His heart melts at the sight. He walks up to Myungsoo and bends down to brush a light kiss on his lips. Myungsoo doesn't even twitch. Of course. He sleeps like the dead. Sungyeol spends a few more minutes marveling at how perfect Myungsoo looks in his sleep. And peaceful, too. Sungyeol supposes that’s from Myungsoo learning that his mother is still thinking about him. Myungsoo has been trying his hardest to make Sungyeol believe he isn’t bothered by what happened on his birthday anymore, but Sungyeol knows him better than anyone. As convincing as he seems, Sungyeol can tell by the lingering sadness in Myungsoo’s eyes, the dimness of his smile, how he sometimes clings to Sungyeol like he’s afraid he’ll leave if he isn’t physically holding onto him. Myungsoo misses his mother; he misses her love. And Sungyeol knows as much as Myungsoo loves him—as much as they love each other—it’s not really the same thing. So Sungyeol’s sure it’s been a good day for Myungsoo.  


Sungyeol brushes his hand through Myungsoo’s hair before finally getting up and heading back to the kitchen. He arrives just as the kettle starts to whistle. Within minutes he makes his cup of tea and then settles down on the couch with a rerun of his favorite show playing on the TV.

  


•••

  


Myungsoo is in the middle of a staring match with his phone when Sungyeol walks into their bedroom, towel slung low on his waist. Sungyeol watches him turn the phone over a couple times before setting it down on the nightstand. "Do I want to know," he asks when Myungsoo falls backwards on the bed and covers his head with a pillow. Myungsoo answers with a muffled groan. Sungyeol continues on to the closet to pick out his clothes for the day. When he comes out he finds Myungsoo sitting up with his phone back in his hand. "What is it?" Sungyeol doesn't know what to think of Myungsoo's behavior. It's not as odd as what he's come to expect from his boyfriend, but it's still odd enough to have him a little worried.  


"Sungjong said that I should talk to my mom, but I'm not sure what I should say."  


That's not a sentence Sungyeol would have ever expected to hear from Myungsoo. He's long since given up on making his boyfriend and his best friend get along. They tolerate each other for his sake, but that doesn't stop them from making pointed jabs and exchanging glares. Although he loves them both, he knows it just isn't meant to be. His eyes are nearly twice their normal size as he rushes over to Myungsoo's side. "Did I miss something," he asks, tossing his clothes carelessly on the bed and taking Myungsoo's face in both of his hands. "Are you really Myungsoo? Am I in the Twilight Zone?"  


Myungsoo snorts at Sungyeol's exaggerated concern. "It's not that surprising."  


Sungyeol drops down next to him, his hands still holding Myungsoo's face. "No, it really is," he argues. "You're telling me that you and Sungjong actually talked instead of insulting each other. And you weren't just pretending to listen to him because now you're considering something he said. This is _huge_ , Myungsoo."  


"You're so dramatic." Slapping away Sungyeol's hands, Myungsoo rolls his eyes and goes back to staring at his phone. He bites on his bottom lip in thought. "But what am I supposed to say?" On instinct, he leans into Sungyeol's touch when the other wraps an arm around his waist. Sungyeol's bare skin is warm against the thin fabric of Myungsoo's shirt. It's a comforting warmth.  


In the short pause before he speaks, Sungyeol considers the best approach Myungsoo could take. "You could thank her for the food," he suggests. "Or just ask how she's doing." From his personal experience, Sungyeol knows his mother is always happy whenever he checks up on her. He's sure all mothers are the same when it comes to that.  


Myungsoo gets as far as his mother's name in his contact list before he falters. He can feel the smile on Sungyeol's lips as he presses a soft kiss on his cheek. "You can do it," Sungyeol voices close to his ear. And that's all Myungsoo needs to gain enough courage to type out a short thank you to his mother. He tells himself not to expect a reply when he goes to hit send. "See," Sungyeol asks quietly, his hand tightening on Myungsoo's waist, "that wasn't too hard, was it?"  


Myungsoo turns to meet Sungyeol's eyes. "Thank you." Sungyeol's smile grows wider and his other hand moves up to Myungsoo's neck. Myungsoo thinks he leans in first, but it doesn't really matter when Sungyeol's mouth is on his. His eyes fall shut as they kiss and his body melts under Sungyeol's gentle hands. He plays with the edge of Sungyeol's towel, fingers skimming along Sungyeol's stomach. Myungsoo breaks the kiss first to press their foreheads together. Sungyeol's breath comes out in hot, heavy puffs against his face and the hand he has on Myungsoo's hip slips under his shirt. Myungsoo dodges Sungyeol's lips when he leans in for another kiss. "Just promise me one thing," he says in answer to the slightly indignant whine Sungyeol lets out at being rejected. "Don't tell Sungjong I listened to him. He's smug enough already and I don't need him holding this over my head."  


Sungyeol pulls Myungsoo down onto the bed with him as he laughs. He hovers over him with an ear-splitting grin on his face. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

  


•••

  


It takes a minute for the familiar surroundings to click and Myungsoo realizes they're outside of his family's house. "What are we...?” He turns to Sungyeol, suspicion growing with the innocently blank look on his boyfriend's face. Of course, it's his fault for blindly following when Sungyeol had suggested they go out for a bit.  


"It's your dad's birthday," Sungyeol says as he turns the car off and takes the keys out of the ignition. "It would be rude not to come."  


He has a point, but Myungsoo doesn't want to concede that easily. He'd hoped they could just phone-in their well wishes this time around considering the circumstances. Despite recent developments, he doesn't think his mother is ready to see him quite yet (she’d never responded to his message). And moreover, Myungsoo doesn't think he's ready yet either. "I don't know about this," he hedges. The memory of their last visit replays in vivid detail in Myungsoo's mind. The words his mother had said to him (screamed at him), the heartbroken look on her face as she realized her hopes for him would never come to fruition. It's all sat in the back of Myungsoo's mind, lurking and creeping up on him when he least expects it.  


Sensing the shift in Myungsoo's thoughts, Sungyeol lays a hand over the two fists Myungsoo has clenched tightly on his lap. He rubs his thumb over Myungsoo's knuckles. "It'll be okay," he promises softly.  


Although Sungyeol has no way of knowing for sure, Myungsoo still believes him. He has to; he won't be able to get out of the car if he doesn't. Heaving a sigh, he looks back at Sungyeol. The worried frown on Sungyeol's face vanishes as if it had never been there and he gives Myungsoo a reassuring smile. Myungsoo leans in to connect their lips briefly, savoring the contact. In the months that he's been learning to accept not having his mother's support, Sungyeol has been the one constant in Myungsoo's life that he doesn't think he could've come so far without. Of course, his brother and father have given him their unconditional love and support and he couldn't be more grateful. But having Sungyeol to lean and depend on whenever necessary, to empathize with him when he doesn't feel too sure of himself has made Myungsoo fall more deeply in love with him. He wants to thank whatever higher power brought them together because he couldn't have asked for a better soulmate.  


"I love you," he breathes against the collar of Sungyeol's shirt as he pulls him into a hug. It's awkward, but Sungyeol wraps his arms around him to bring him closer (and Myungsoo's sure if it weren't for the space between their seats he'd already be in Sungyeol's lap).  


A small shiver runs through Sungyeol at Myungsoo's words. Myungsoo feels it with his head resting on Sungyeol's shoulder. "I love you, too," Sungyeol says, his voice coming out choked. He's started stroking Myungsoo's hair. His fingers slide down the back of Myungsoo's head in slow, even strokes. As much as it calms him down, Myungsoo is starting to suspect that it's meant to calm Sungyeol down too. They stay like that for a few minutes until Myungsoo decides to treat the next couple of hours like ripping off a Band-aid. Whatever pain he might receive will be over quickly. Or so he hopes.  


Sungyeol holds his hand all through the walk to the front door. His presence is a boost to Myungsoo's confidence. The wait before the door opens is excruciating, twisting Myungsoo's stomach into knots. Moonsoo's smiling face greets them and Myungsoo notes the lack of surprise on his face. (He and Sungyeol must have planned this together.) He leads Myungsoo and Sungyeol into the living room where Mr. Kim is sitting on the couch. He rises at the sight of his eldest son, arms open for an embrace. Myungsoo doesn't hesitate to return his father's hug and squeezes him tightly. Mr. Kim laughs at the clingy gesture and pats Myungsoo's face affectionately.  


Sungyeol greets Myungsoo's father much more politely, handing over the small gift bag he'd stashed in the backseat without Myungsoo noticing. It's more polite than when he and Myungsoo were supposed to be just friends. But it must be for the best as it seems that's as much as the older man is comfortable with now.  


Myungsoo hesitates before bringing up his mother. The mood drops at the mention of Mrs. Kim, a noticeable tension settling over the room. "She's upstairs," Mr. Kim says quietly. He rests his hand on Myungsoo's shoulder and squeezes gently. "You should say hi."  


Sungyeol catches Myungsoo's hand as he turns to go up the staircase. He looks as nervous as Myungsoo feels. "Do you want me to come with you?"  


Myungsoo knows Sungyeol would stay with him the entire time if he asked, but he also knows he should do this alone. Even if his mother has wrapped her head around who he is and accepts it, it might still take some time for her to become comfortable with who he's dating. She's known Sungyeol as Myungsoo's close friend and had treated him like her own son. Myungsoo's sure it's asking a lot for her to suddenly start thinking of Sungyeol as the person that her son loves. The thought had never occurred to her. And as much as Myungsoo wants his mother to understand him, he's trying to understand her, too.  


"It's okay," he assures Sungyeol. "I'll be okay." He repeats the statement in his head a couple times to make himself believe it. Sungyeol glances at Myungsoo's brother and father before pecking him quickly on the cheek. A good luck kiss, Myungsoo assumes.  


The walk to his parents' bedroom is measured. He hasn't dreaded facing his mother so strongly since he used to live under her roof. He knocks lightly on the door before opening it. When he pokes his head in, he sees his mother sitting on the bed with a photo album on her lap. She glances up at him, her eyes unsurprised and sad, then fixes her gaze back on the book. Myungsoo enters the room slowly, partly expecting her to kick him out.  


"Did Sungyeol come, too?"  


The question catches Myungsoo by surprise and he nods before realizing she can't see it. "Yes. He's downstairs." When his mother doesn't say anything else he steps closer to the bed. As he'd thought, the photo album is open to pages of his baby pictures. He can't help wondering if she's looking back to find a cause for who he is, or maybe a clue of what was to come. Maybe she blames herself and the way she raised him. It hurts to think that (to think his mother is as disappointed with herself as she is with him; to think he's hurt her by just being himself; to think that she thinks there's something wrong with him), but Myungsoo knows it's a possibility.  


"Do his parents know?"  


He's not as surprised this time. "Yes," he affirms simply. She could be referring to several things and his answer is correct for all of them. "They're supportive and happy for him...and for us." He says the last part haltingly, afraid it'll sound like he's taking a shot at her initial reaction. (He's hopeful her feelings have changed.)  


"How long have you been...like this?" His mother still hasn't looked at him. Her fingers trace over the chubby curves of his cheeks in a photo from when he was barely a year old.  


The words are difficult to form despite having already talked about this twice. (His father had seemed reluctant to know, while Moonsoo had gotten straight to the point.) He sits carefully on the edge of the bed, keeping a good distance from his mother. "I didn't always know," he starts slowly. "I thought I liked girls. It felt like I was supposed to, like that's what was expected. I guess somewhere between high school and college I started to feel less sure of what I wanted. Of who I wanted. And then I met Sungyeol and things finally felt right. He's... He makes me happy. We make each other happy. And how we feel about each other doesn't feel wrong. It's love." He finally looks up when he's done, curious of his mother's reaction.  


She's looking back at him with tears dotting the corners of her eyes. Her smile is sad, but also loving as she reaches out to slowly stroke his cheek. "I used to be so sure the perfect girl was out there just waiting for you. And that you were _really_ taking your time finding her. It was naïve of me, as old as I am. But I think all parents want the best for their children. Even when the best isn't what the kids want." She takes her hand from Myungsoo's cheek to hold his hand. There's more warmth in her smile now. "Your father's been trying his best to help me understand you and who you are. I'm not okay with it just yet, but I'm not so set in my ways that I won't ever be. You're still my son; that hasn't changed. I just need some time."  


Myungsoo doesn't think before he throws his arms around his mother. Even with his eyes screwed shut the tears still squeeze their way out. He wants to apologize for crying into her shirt, but he's sobbing too much to get any words out. His mother rubs soothing circles on his back as she holds him and that only makes him cry harder. He hadn't even cried after he came out to his parents, though Sungyeol had walked on eggshells around him like he might at any moment. He'd expected his mother's reaction; had known she wouldn't take the news well. (Not knowing what to expect from his father, his support had surprised Myungsoo and maybe even softened the blow a bit.)  


And while dealing with the aftermath he'd thought he would be okay without his mother. That her approval wouldn't be a deciding factor of his happiness. But sitting here with her now, hearing her say she loves him and wants to understand him (that she's trying). Myungsoo really hadn't imagined things turning out this way. It's a relief after how much he'd dreaded this conversation as well as overwhelming. So he cries. He doesn't know for how long, but his mother holds him as tightly as he holds her all throughout. When his tears have finally dried up, he slowly pulls away from her and wipes at his face.  


"This is supposed to be a happy day," Mrs. Kim says lightly as she reaches over to pet his hair. Her eyes and smile are both filled with love.  


Myungsoo lets out a short laugh. "I _am_ happy," he refutes. Despite his current appearance, he really is. He has a lot of things to be happy about. He sniffles a couple times before saying, "I couldn't be any happier."

  


•••

  


Myungsoo shivers when Sungyeol slides a cold foot down his calf, but still pulls Sungyeol closer. Even if his feet are freezing the rest of him is warm enough. Sungyeol's arms are tight around Myungsoo as they lay together in bed. In light of the day's positive turn of events, Sungyeol had decided that Myungsoo deserved a good bout of cuddling before they go to sleep. And Myungsoo had jumped at the offer immediately.  


"How much longer are we doing this?"  


"You're asking like I forced you to do this," Myungsoo snorts. He loosens Sungyeol's hold so he can turn to face him. His eyes have adjusted to the dark enough for him to make out most of Sungyeol's face. He can tell Sungyeol is smiling so he smiles back just as bright. Sungyeol had been so happy to hear that Myungsoo's mother was slowly coming to accept Myungsoo (and his and Sungyeol's relationship). Probably even more than Myungsoo. It's most likely due to the fact that he had still felt guilty. He still felt partly responsible for causing tension between Myungsoo and his mother despite Myungsoo's insistence to the contrary. And he's been terrible at hiding his concern over how Myungsoo's been coping. In a way, Mrs. Kim's change of heart is also a big weight off of Sungyeol's shoulders.  


"I hope you won't worry too much now," Myungsoo says quietly, tracing the line of Sungyeol's jaw slowly. He doesn't have to elaborate for Sungyeol to know what he means.  


"Then you mustn't know me very well." Sungyeol's tone is playful. His hand rests on Myungsoo's hip and his thumb rubs small circles onto the exposed skin between his pajama pants and shirt. Unconsciously, Myungsoo leans into the touch. "I'll always worry about you," Sungyeol continues in slightly more sober voice. "I just want you to be happy."  


Myungsoo's chest feels tight, filled with too many emotions. He leans over to connect his lips with Sungyeol's. The kiss is long and slow, but stops just before it turns heated. It's not about that. Myungsoo rests his forehead against Sungyeol's and takes a couple deep breaths. "I _am_ happy," he says for the second time that day. "Because I have you. And that's all I need."  


Sungyeol tilts his head up to brush their lips together and Myungsoo indulges him in another kiss. His hand tightens on Myungsoo's hip as they press closer to each other. They separate sooner than Sungyeol would like, but he keeps Myungsoo close. "Would you..." Sungyeol's voice shakes slightly from nerves so he clears his throat before continuing. "Do you want me to keep making you happy? You know, just you and me and maybe a couple cats for the rest of our lives. I mean, I know we can't actually do it, like, legally and stuff, but if you want to we can exchange vows and, uh, rings." There's a long stretch of silence as Myungsoo only stares at him. Sungyeol can feel Myungsoo's wide, surprised eyes raking over his face in the dark and chooses to think of it as a good sign.  


"Are you... Are you _proposing_ to me," Myungsoo asks, voice faint and disbelieving. He's clutching onto the front of Sungyeol's shirt with both hands.  


Sungyeol licks his lips, still nervous. "Will you say yes if I am?" In lieu of an answer, Myungsoo jumps on top of Sungyeol and pushes him onto his back. Their third kiss is sweeter than the last two although it doesn't last as long. Myungsoo's teeth seem to glow when he pulls away to grin down at Sungyeol. "It's not the most romantic proposal," Sungyeol says quietly, running his hands up Myungsoo's back and curling his fingers around his shoulders. "But I've wanted to ask you for a while."  


"I'm glad you asked. Even if you didn't get down on one knee to do it." Which is true. Myungsoo is just happy to hear that Sungyeol wants to be with him for as long as he can. Because he wants the same thing. He loves Sungyeol so much and he's more than ready to commit himself to loving only Sungyeol for the rest of his life. The past few months have proven that to him. And as long as he and Sungyeol have each other everything will be okay. More than that: it'll be perfect.


End file.
